Why Friendzoning is Okay

February 3, 2018

 

Let me set the scene.

 

I had been talking to this guy for nearly six months, trying to get to know him on a platonic level before I threw romance into the mix. Because, let's face it ladies and gents, once you get into a relationship with someone, your hormones do as much--maybe even more--talking as your head. And my hormones would definitely have been talking loud with this fella--he was fine. But once your hormone's start getting a voice, you focus less about being who you are, and worry more about putting your best face forward. It's now a priority to make sure your significant other DOESN'T see that pimple/volcano forming on your chin, or refusing to let them see you without makeup on. It becomes less about you and more about how they see you.

 

So one night, my guy friend told me he liked me. Which was all great and dandy, because I was thinking I liked him, too. He was the first guy I ever felt like I clicked with, who understood me and accepted me for who I was. The first guy who understood my passion for writing and my need for it. In all my years of existing on this planet, that had never happened.

 

But I had just started my new career and was going through many new changes in my life, and I, rightfully, asked him to be my friend for one more month while I figured all of these paths for myself out. 

 

And he proceeded to tell me I wasn't worth waiting for. 


You see, when you ask a guy or girl to be friends with you first, to hold off on a relationship and just be good friends for a while, they instantly take it as an insult. "They think they're too good for me" is one response their brain tells them. "They aren't worth the wait".

 

But 'friendzoning' is totally, TOTALLY allowed. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. If you need two months to make sure you know what you really want, what you really need, from this relationship, you have the total power to do so. No one should ever make you feel bad for wanting to have your head on straight before you start locking lips. If they scorn you for that, they probably don't have their heads on straight.

 

And seriously--if someone says you aren't worth waiting for, did you really want that relationship anyway? I'd hope not.

 

My point is that the world nowadays views friendzoning as a bad thing, when in reality, it's actually a good thing. It's good to have your head on straight when you go into a relationship. It's good to really know your partner before you start getting intimate. And it's good to have those boundaries for yourself, to put yourself first and focus on you. 

 

'Friendzoning' isn't a bad thing, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

 

Over and out,

Sarah Sutton

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